I hate this.

I hate a lot of things about my job. Let me say that, especially in these times, I am extremely grateful to be employed. That said, may I vent now, please.

I work the the welfare office (not it's real title). I see people who are applying for food stamps & general assistance. I do NOT work with children. I refuse. That, I truly could not handle. I only see people over 18. Some applicants are very cordial. Some are extremely angry/mean/sad/frustrated and treat me like a verbal punching bag. Some have been in the system for years and know the programs better than I do.

Many people are homeless, dirty, down on their luck. Some are very put-together. Some are disabled. A lot of people have mental issues. Today I had a client that really, really hit a nerve with me. I thought about her all day long. She applied for food stamps. Before I brought her in for her appointment, I reviewed her application and very quickly realized she did not qualify simply based on one factor. I knew that I would only have to speak with her for 1-2 minutes to explain the denial. I went into the lobby and called her name on the speaker. I saw her approach. She was in her fifties, dressed poorly, using a cane, and had a stuffed animal backpack. As I greeted her I could immediately tell she had some mental problems.

I took her into my office. I explained why she was denied food stamps. She smiled and said, "Okay". I said that I was sorry I couldn't help her, I had her sign a few forms, and I gave her a little more information. She just kept smiling and saying "Okay". When we were done, she collected her things, all the while smiling, and said, "Thank you so much! Have a good day!".

I returned to my office and the depressing feeling settled in me. These are the people I can't bear to deal with. My sadness for them is so great. I would rather have someone yell and cuss at me about how unfair the rules are and how incompetent I am. Mental illness just makes me so sad. And then I think about that woman, I wonder how she takes care of herself and gets food and it bothers me so much. I hope someone is looking out for her.